Friday, February 20, 2009

How to shop for jeans.

1. Try on several pairs and get upset.
2. Almost convince yourself that you can keep wearing the pair you have.
3. Realize you won't be able to participate in jeans Friday as you current pair violate several items in the dress code (e.g. It is suggested that staff wear clothing that do not expose staff’s crotch or ass).
4. Try on more jeans.
5. Discover that you are too short, too hippy, and generally not proportional.
6. Try on a pair of jeans one size bigger than your normal size.
7. Relish the luxurious spaciousness of bigger jeans.
8. Buy bigger jeans.
9. Wear jeans for one day.
10. Remember that jeans relax after wearing.
11. Fail.
12. Resolve that you will have to either gain weight or wear jeans that are too big for you for the rest of your life because you are sure as hell not going jeans shopping ever again.


  1. I hate jean shopping so much that I went back to Express to buy the exact same jeans I had bought the last time (the old ones were displaying signs of non-work-appropriate as you mentioned). Turns out that the exact same size (and supposedly length) are 3 inches longer than the last ones I bought. Damnit.

  2. no jeans for jeans fri, how sad :(

  3. The too-big ones are good for days when it's so cold that you need to wear long underwear. (which, for me, is pretty much every day of Chicago's winter!)

    I think Levis (in their stores) has (or at least used to have) a thing where they will take your measurements and make a pair for you. I don't know how much it costs over the regular prices, I haven't tried it.

  4. god i've learned this like 2343 times over!

  5. I love the explination of what's not appropriate for staff. You crack me up. Good luck with the hunt =)