Five quick ways to succeed at parenting

1. Let baby chew on an open tube of toothpaste
2. Let baby not only handle a bottle of Listerine, but somehow manage to unscrew the cap, pour Listerine into it, and put the full cap to his mouth. 
3.  Let baby escape wearing no diaper and just his arms through his sleeper.  Use said sleeper to clean up resulting puddle in the hallway.
4.  Accidentally put poopy diapers into washing machine full of clean, wet clothes. 
5.  Find baby after he's managed to unscrew the pump to a bottle of lotion and has a fist full of said lotion.
6.  Let baby get into dogs' water bowl.  Again. 

Let's just say I've been a very successful parent today.